Monday, October 5, 2015

The Star Wars Solution to Gun Violence



A liberal friend posed this question on Facebook.  Of course, I took the bait:

Ok, I have a question. I’m going to put this out to republican legislators, and republicans in general. Let’s imagine for a brief second that you all have the power to enact and enforce laws to make our country a better place. Oh wait - you already have that power.  Ok, let’s just suppose you’re willing to use it – for actually improving the quality of life in this country? That is the goal, correct?  My question is: What would you suggest is a possible solution to this current crisis of mass shootings? They’re not just killing children of liberal families. Surely, you must agree that this affects us all? So, what do you suggest we do about it? We all can hear very clearly the objections to virtually any sliver of a mention of gun control, or regulation. We get that having an unfettered right to a gun, to any gun, is way more important to you than any reduction in senseless deaths.  So, come up with another solution. Anything. We would love to hear how you all would solve this. You blame mental illness? Well, what would you do about that? What mental health initiatives are you willing to pay for? When can we start?  I’m not even being rhetorical. I’m serious. What will you all do about this, other than to get in the way of fixing it? 

My response:

Can't speak for Republicans, but I am familiar with the libertarian (small "l") solutions for this. Let me start by saying, "Long ago in a galaxy far far away..." Wait, before I get to that, some of your premises need correcting: Republicans cannot make laws. They would need 61 votes in the Senate which they've never had in modern times. Democrats however, did have that for Obama's first two years and they did...zip. Also, you are right, gun violence doesn't care which party you vote for, but the vast majority of gun violence is in Democrat cities. (Chicago, New York, Detroit, it's all the same street... add Baltimore, Nawlins, DC, etc.) OK, back to Star Wars: Think of Darth Vader as the guy who brings a big gun into a movie theatre intending to take out as many innocents as possible. Who stops him? Not just the cops. No, an ordinary cat with a fast car and some big guns of his own, named Han Solo, has the assist. In other words, qualified regular Joes (like that guy Mintz!) with concealed carry permits could turn a mass casualty gig into a less bigger deal. Still gonna have them though. (There will always be idiots like the "I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die" type.) Libertarians would also say, every one of these incidents has an SSRI component, so prosecute any doctor as an accomplice who prescribes SSRIs, or any mind altering drug, to a guy with an arsenal and a penchant for first-person-shooter games (Another correlation). Also, libertarians would say if you have private property and want a gun free zone, fine, but public spaces should never be gun free. 

UPDATE:  Obama and Democrat response using the Star Wars analogy:  Vader still gets his Death Star (the bad guys always keep their weapons!), and the rebels (cops) still have their Xwing fighters. Only Han Solo (the private citizen) has his guns confiscated.  Under that scenario, Luke dies, the rebels are decimated, and the Death Star kills all the good guys.  Obama, Democrats, and the gun ban advocates are naively taking Vader's side.     


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