That stupid Constitution of ours is so obnoxious! With all its checks and balances and
limitations on what one man can do, it’s enough to drive an aspiring dictator
crazy! Luckily, we’ve found a
nifty way around all that, and it’s called “The Mandate”.
How cool is The Mandate? Take The Mortgage Mandate from the 90’s. This was a mandate on banks to provide
mortgages to anyone who could fog a mirror. No obvious tax increase needed. No contentious new laws passed. There would not even be any resistance from the banks, once
they were promised two escape hatches:
Fannie and Freddie.
The Mortgage Mandate was pure genius. It delivered millions of votes for
Democrats, didn’t cost taxpayers a dime (initially), didn’t raise any
suspicions at the time, and when it finally blew-up, the stink all landed
on…Republican, George W. Bush. It
was the perfect crime!
Bill Clinton knew that he could not provide subsidized
mortgages to his voters the Constitutional way. No, that would require a huge tax increase and legislative
(bipartisan) action. That would
have been way too messy, and could easily take longer than sex with an
intern. But, through the magic of
The Mortgage Mandate, it was a discreet quickee, all done behind the back of that
annoying document from Philadelphia.
Ditto Obama’s brand new Contraception Mandate; Barack Obama knows the key to his
reelection is white women. He
kicked butt among white women last time and, this time around, it’s just not
clear that they hate Mitt Romney as much as they did John McCain.
Obama really needs white women. He needs white women more than Otis Day and the
Knights. So, what better way to win
support among white women than the promise of government subsidized orgasms? That’s right, under Obama’s free birth
control mandate, every woman can have unlimited sex at no cost to herself! How cool is that? Who would vote against that?
Well, the fans of that pesky document from 1787 for one, but
they didn’t vote for Obama in the first place. Also, strict Catholic white males who are similarly useless
to an Obama re-election campaign.
And who get’s to pay for this?
Nobody. It’s magical and
free!
This whole debate about the so-called “individual mandate”
is another matter entirely.
Regardless of how one feels about the constitutionality at the state or
federal level, at least the individual insurance mandate is a tax levied on
voters, despite Obama’s denials.
The Mortgage and Free Sex Mandates do a handy end-run around those pesky
balloteers, as do nearly all the other mandates in that monstrosity
known as Obamacare. The Obamacare
Mandates make The Mortgage Mandate look insignificant in comparison.
I used to believe that the Supreme Court would never let us
slip into anarchy; that they would
ultimately defend the Constitution and preserve The Rule of Law. Experience has taught me
otherwise. The People are the last
line of defense, but tragically, The People can be cheaply bought for the false
promise of free McMansions, Free Sex, and Free Healthcare.
(If you got here by searching for Kate Upton, my apologies.)